Vylar Kaftan

If all my friends jumped off a cliff, I’d set up a lemonade stand and sell tickets. Then I’d jump too, drenched in lemonade, with dollar bills fluttering from my hands and a nice sensible bungee cord around my waist.

2007 writing numbers.

(The numbers don’t add up, but that’s because some stories were submitted in 2006 and sold in 2007, and some 2007-submitted stories are still circulating.)

Submissions: 52
Sales: 12
Rejections: 41
Withdrawals: 3
Inventory: 10. 6 circulating, 4 waiting for reading periods to open or requiring minor edits.
Stories that could be completed and submitted in the next month: 4, if I focus and work hard. I tend to work in batches, which means I have a small pile of stories that are all ready at the same time.

Acceptance rate = roughly 23%, depending on how you count it.

I’m not a New Year’s Resolution kind of person (every day is a new day), but my plan is to write a bunch of new stories and then kill a dragon with my bare hands.

The Nebula recommendations have been updated. There’s still only 4 qualified short stories. Many have been nominated, but few people can agree on the best ones. Many short stories have 6-7 recommendations.

If you are reading short stories now, and are an Active SFWA member, I strongly recommend “Holiday” by M. Rickert. This story had 1 recommendation in November, and in the last month it’s leaped to 6. It’s within striking distance of qualifying for this year’s ballot. And it’s a fine story. Haunting and disturbing and surreal all at once.

It’s available from the Nebulas site for SFWA members. I wish I could link to it here for the non-SFWA readers, but it’s not available online, unfortunately.

Just signed a contract for “The Luckiest Street in Georgia” to appear in the June issue of Realms of Fantasy.

Shannon and I just returned from Kooza, the newest Cirque du Soleil show. We loved it, of course (we’re big Cirque fans), but as usual the story makes no sense. Here’s my summary:

If you’re in a field flying a kite, and the clown mail brings you a package, it means you’re about to receive delivery of a Roman circus on a carousel. It’s a metaphor for male puberty, and the first time you touch your erection you break it. Then you have to visit a skeletal nightclub and listen to heavy metal for a while before some other stuff happens, and in the end your “kite” has transformed into its adult shape. There might be a robot and a very large dog involved.

Also, acrobats are really hot.

I had a great time reading works for the Nebula. It’s refreshing to read stuff that I don’t have to critique. I can just say, “Yes, I thought that was great,” or “No, I didn’t like that,” without having to analyze WHY I didn’t like it and how it could be salvaged and yadda yadda. I think I’m burned out on critiquing lately.

Anyway. I’d like to talk about which works I recommended, and why. These are all stories that I really enjoyed and think other people should read too. This list is based on my reading throughout the year as well as a few discoveries in this final frenzy of reading. All of these are available to SFWA members through the website (and a few are available online).

• Novella: Shepard, Lucius: Stars Seen Through Stone (F&SF, Jul07) This whole Nebula-reading frenzy started when I saw there were only two novellas qualified for the preliminary ballot. I really hate “choices” like that. So I decided to try the two novellas which had 8 recommendations already. The Shepard work is terrific. Strange events alter a small Pennsylvania town, a morally bankrupt musician rises to glory and then crashes back into much-deserved obscurity, and two estranged lovers fall for each other again. It was like Lovecraft’s “The Mountains of Madness” meets Austen’s “Persuasion.” I particularly liked the strong female lead and the satisfying justice in the musician’s fate. If you’re at all inclined to read something in the next few days, I recommend this work–and if you get a recommendation in by the 31st, you’ll be the 10th, which would put this on the preliminary ballot.
• Novelette: Jemison, N. K.: The Narcomancer (Helix: A Speculative Fiction Quarterly, WS & LWE, Ed., Jan07 ) A fine tale about a priest fighting a sleep-magician. What I really liked here is that this story developed well on both a plot level and a character level–in fact, the two intertwined neatly to make a compelling, satisfying story. So many writers neglect one or the other, but this story works on both levels. Very well done.
• Novelette: Kail, Andrea: The Sun God at Dawn, Rising from a Lotus Blossom (Writers of the Future Volume 23, Galaxy Press, Sep07) You probably haven’t heard of Andrea Kail. Well, you should have. She’s a terrific new writer and you’ll be seeing great work from her in the next 5 years. This story possesses a delightful voice: the young King Tut, living a second life in a museum, writes letters to his hero Abraham Lincoln. Yep, that’s what I said. Overall, it’s a serious exploration of our relationship to history and heroes. But it definitely keeps its whimsy. My favorite part was when Abe sends the young pharaoh a scooter as a present, which gets him in trouble as he zips around the museum.
• Novelette: Pelland, Jennifer: Mercytanks (Helix: A Speculative Fiction Quarterly, WS & LWE, Ed., Apr07) Okay, this completely rocked. I sent the link to a bunch of people and said READ THIS. If I told you what was so cool, I’d spoil the ending. But I’ll say this: It’s a story about the REAL far-future, or at least a more plausible version of it than usual. Most far-future stories seem too conservative in their vision. Few writers consider how vast the world’s changes are even within our own lifetimes, and they fail to extrapolate appropriately. But Jennifer Pelland has done some great work here. In this story, accidental refugees from the past attempt to adjust to life in the future–and if they can’t adjust, they’ll be put into a VR sim where they’ll live in a pale imitation of reality (but they won’t know their lives are VR simulations!) Our protagonist is a counselor who’s helping these people adjust to a future they can barely comprehend before they have to be mercytanked. Totally great stuff. Go read it.
• Short Story: Black, Holly: A Reversal of Fortune (Coyote Road, Trickster Tales, Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling, Ed., Viking Juvenile, Jul07) After I read this, I walked into the living room where my husband was sitting. My expression was slightly dazed. “Honey,” I said, “I just read an awesome story where a girl challenges the devil to… a gummi-frog eating contest.” Without missing a beat, he said, “That’s strange and wonderful. But if Kelly Link didn’t write it, and neither did you, I don’t know who could have!” (Husband scores points. He gets fresh chocolate chip cookies today.) But seriously, Holly Black–who wrote the terrific twisted faerie tale Tithe–has turned out a delightfully clever tale about a girl who tricks the devil himself. Witty, charming, and fun. Plus, it was great to read a story which didn’t have a rocks-fall-everyone-dies ending. Even though I like that sort of thing.
• Short Story: Rickert, M: Holiday (Subterranean, Sep07 < #7, Datlow issue>) People have been telling me to read M. Rickert for a while now. I’d always meant to read her stuff, and she sounded like my sort of writer. Indeed. This story blew my socks off. A man is visited by a never-quite-named Jon-Benet Ramsey who converts him into a birthday-party-holding, clownsuit-wearing–Oh, just go read the story. Haunting, chilling, and very strange. Consider me a new M. Rickert fan. I wouldn’t be surprised to see this one pick up a bunch of recommendations.
• Short Story: Kowal, Mary Robinette: For Solo Cello, op. 12 (Cosmos, Mar07 ) A maimed musician faces a terrible choice: in order to reclaim his skills, he must sacrifice something he loves. Essentially, it’s a deal-with-the-devil story–where the devil turns out to be within himself. Great ending. On an unrelated note, the art for this story is especially gorgeous. Cosmos does great illustrations.

Three of my recommendations are new to the list:

• Short Story: Mamatas, Nick: Summon Bind Banish (Bandersnatch, Paul Tremblay & Sean Wallace, Ed., Wildside Press, Nov07) Bandersnatch is a very weird anthology, if by “very” you mean “completely” and by “weird” you mean “I have to boil my brain, please strain the spaghetti, eggs are toast, PING!” The cover has no title. The back has no blurb. The art is ALL. Omnipresent over the book, like a tattoo over an entire human being. Within these strange pages are a number of very good stories, among them this one. “Summon Bind Banish” is about Alistair Crowley, transcendence, and goat-fucking, not necessarily in that order. I found this story remarkable for its daring subject matter and its well-crafted build to a surprising yet inevitable ending. I highly recommend it. Plus the sf/f world has recently suffered a distinct lack of stories with goatfuckery, a problem which has now been remedied for several years to come.
• Novelette: Leckie, Ann: The Snake’s Wife (Helix:A Speculative Fiction Quarterly, WS & LWE, Ed., Oct07) Three of my recommendations are from Helix, and no surprise–it’s a fine market. This story is about what happens when foolish humans try to play the Prophecy Game. This game is well known to dungeon masters across the world who’ve dealt with the Wish spell. It involves the game of, “Well, the EXACT word the prophecy said could mean THIS, if I bent it just right and hoped a lot and made excuses for all the crap I’m going to do anyway.” Such verbal shenanigans usually end in tears, death, or someone cursed with a goat’s head for the rest of their life. Anyway, about this specific story: A young boy falls prey to political machinations and suffers a terrible price. Men reading this story might want to, uh, armor themselves sufficiently first. But the boy wreaks his revenge on his tormentors in the end, through more of those verbal shenanigans, in a satisfying way. It’s a good read.
• Short Story: Scholes, Ken: Summer in Paris, Light from the Sky (Clarkesworld, Nov07) I’m not usually crazy about alternate history. The stories have to be wildly different from reality for me to enjoy them much. This story accomplished that. In a Europe where Napoleon won, Adolf Hitler grew up with no Germany to rule. He became a painter, moved to Paris, hung out with Ernie Hemingway, and fell in love with a Jewish girl. I liked the originality and the vision of this piece. Now I’m pondering the ways in which people are shaped by their environments, and how altered the same person can be by different situations.

Phew. That was a lot of thinking, and now my brain hurts. Time to get silly. Everyone watch Watermelon Nights with me! Sing along! Be young and in love, and a watermelon! Then go read Mercytanks by Jennifer Pelland.

Hey, Grinnell alums. Did you know the Back Table’s still alive? There’s an article in this month’s Exit 182. An excerpt:

“But there is a place where the devoutly uncool can gather in safety — the Back Table. This bastion of dorkdom has been providing a safe zone since time immemorial: i.e., sometime in the late 80’s (before we were born…)”
–Sarah Walker ‘08

Well, I’ll be darned. I think I’ll write to her.

I finally got my SFWA password, after months of trying. I’m spending the day (and maybe the next few days) reading as many novellas, novelettes, and short stories as I can in order to make some Nebula recommendations before the 31st. Obviously I can’t read everything, but I’m doing my best. I’d really like to see a full ballot next year. I’m focusing on:

• works that already have 8 or more recommendations
• older works nearing the end of eligibility with several recommendations
• newer works with 1-2 recommendations, where my recommendation might actually help over the next 6-12 months
• works from writers whose work I’ve liked before
• works recommended by people whose tastes I generally agree with
• works from obscure publications which I’ve enjoyed that might get overlooked

I’m going to recommend the best stories I read. I know there’s a forum somewhere in SFF.net for discussing this, but like I said, I just got my password and I’d rather spend time reading stories than learning to navigate the forums just now.

Can someone clarify for me how the balloting works? I understand the 12-month eligibility concept, but I’m not clear on when the ballot is finalized.  I was under the impression that Dec 31st was the cutoff for a single year’s ballot, but I just heard that there’s another balloting early next year…? I’m trying to decide how dire the current ballot situation is.

Also, feel free to leave me suggested reading material in the comments. I can’t promise I’ll get to it all, but I’ll try!

Phew.  Our annual set of home-made holiday cards are on their way to various destinations.  This year’s set is perhaps less disturbing but much weirder than last year’s.  Fly free, little cards, and carry good wishes to our friends.  Or at least peculiar thoughts.

Shannon did our annual holiday baking yesterday afternoon.  I was out for the day, but this morning I found a treasure: the Secret Ginger Spice Burial Grounds.  It’s a Tupperware full of broken ginger spice cookie corpses, all mangled by a ruthless spatula.  Because of natural pressures and steam, the victims had softened into a sweet mush, rather like peat moss in texture.

And now I feast upon the delicious dead.

You know what would make greasing bread pans a lot easier? Butter-flavored Chapstick.